I Aduke of Courtroom Mail do solemnly swear that I am not a fake Lawyer. That I will continue to remain faithful to the rules of Professional conduct until I become a big girl in the profession when the rules will no longer apply to me. Since there is a presumption that every lawyer that enters appearance in court was duly called to the Nigerian Bar, I shall pursuant to that abide by the rules of professional conduct relating to all my colleagues both fake and real.
The Legal profession in Nigeria is the profession most prone to having fake members compared to accountants and Doctors. Though medicine is more endangered than the Legal profession, the difference is that most quacks practicing medicine proudly practice as quacks and not doctors while fake lawyers practice as lawyers making it difficult to distinguish the fake from the real. The bad news for the legal profession is that fake lawyers (depending on their level of interaction with the profession before they started practicing) can acquire remarkable proficiency in law practice. This makes it difficult to fish them out. Presumably, there may be more than one thousand fake lawyers practicing law in Nigeria. This number includes law graduates, those who abandoned bar exams and law office clerks who have worked in law firms for a long time)
This post provides a satirical view of their modus operandi
- If you want to become a successful fake lawyer, it is safer to remain in a paid employment. Since most law firms don’t confirm CVs, choose the Law firm of a popular lawyer. His reputation will protect you.
- If possible, practice only as a solicitor. Courtroom Mail can confirm that more than 90% of fake lawyers were caught practicing law in the court room.
- If you must practice litigation, try to avoid magistrates’ courts. Be bold to practice in the Higher Courts. Majority of fake Lawyers are caught in the magistrates’ court. Avoid becoming a resident Lawyer because resident lawyers are ruthless and territorial. They will find out one day when you take over their ambulance.
- To become a successful fake Lawyer, practice in big cities. Yes. Practicing in big cities is safer than practicing in small jurisdictions where lawyers live like members of a family. Lawyers in small jurisdictions don’t mind their business and they are always interested in when other people were called. They even mention their cases according to age at the bar. If you stay there, one day you will quarrel with a colleague and they will find out that you were not called at all.
- Pretend that you don’t have time for all those NBA activities. Always form busy about NBA activities. When anyone asks you, tell them you are pursuing money not NBA. This is important because one day, you may be required to put down your name and enrollment number somewhere.
- Speak good English. Forget it, Courtroom Mail can confirm that if you speak good English, no one will suspect you. You will never be caught.
My Name is Aduke from Courtroom Mail
